Millennial Whoop
by Oxalia
Summary: In which Damon Albarn's millennial fear of everyone being replaced by robots is realised. OR The one where Noodle loses her goddamn mind.


**Millennial Whoop**

 _In which Damon Albarn's millennial fear of everyone being replaced by robots is realised_

OR

 _The one where Noodle loses her goddamn mind_

Noodle awoke to the sound of the radio's new favourite pop song and Cyborg's head screaming expletives from her desk. It was a warm Tuesday morning, and it couldn't have been later than eight am. Blinking slowly, she watched a bird glide through the morning sky. It slammed head first into a tree and dropped like a stone. All right—time to get up.

Cyborg scowled as Noodle let out a yawn, and scratched herself.

"I hate you! You fiend! I want you to die!"

Noodle stretched, and posed her (four!) limbs in front of her mirror, knowing that Cyborg's cussing crescendo was out of envy. She decided she'd douse her in extra water today. Maybe she'd drown. Unlikely, but Noodle had seen stranger things in her time. At any rate, Cyborg's momentum didn't sound like it was slowing down, so Noodle went ahead and started getting ready for the day.

It was a warm Tuesday morning, and she could probably get some work done before noon. Sunlight was streaming in through her window. Birds were circling outside. Noodle felt a sudden chill down her spine. Today she'd woken up to everyone being replaced by robots.

Noodle awoke to the sound of the radio's new favourite pop song and Cyborg's head scowling at her from her desk. She scratched her head. That was one strange dream—that she'd already managed to forget. She could distinctly remember her horror, though, when her brain had abruptly decided that everyone had been replaced by machines. She felt herself shiver just thinking about it. Getting ready, she watered her little bonsai as Cyborg glared daggers at her. It was ten in the morning—a little late, but maybe she could still get some stuff done before lunch. There were no birds outside, and the room bathed in its own silence as she shut the door behind her.

At ten o'clock in the morning, it seemed like only Russel was awake. 2D was at the breakfast table too, but he hadn't blinked in over a minute, so it was unclear where he really was. Noodle took out a cigarette for her morning smoke—it always felt best with her boys around. Russel smiled at her as he gave her a couple of strawberry jam sandwiches.

"Man, am I glad for lazy days like this," he sighed happily. "All we have on our schedule for a while is getting ready for the concert. We just need some practice, and a few jam sessions to get us back in synch after all the time spent... apart." He let himself frown for only a second before turning back to Noodle, a toothy grin plastered on face. "You look lost in thought. Sleep well?"

"Yeah... I had such an odd dream, though."

"What kinda dream?" he asked, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"I had a dream..." Noodle paused, fiddling with her hair. "You were all replaced by robots."

Russel laughed, gathering his now empty plate. Strawberry jam was his favourite, and he was in a good mood as a result. 2D swayed a little.

"Did we have guns in our mouth like Cyborg?" he grinned, while 2D blinked himself back to life. "I wouldn't mind having one on hand like that. I have to spend a lot of time with Murdoc."

"I didn't really see you, actually... I just, uh, knew. You know."

"Yeah, I do, kiddo." Russel smiled warmly, passing a new sandwich to 2D (a weird bug had crawled on the last one without him noticing). "Dreams are like that. I once had a dream where I just _knew_ my jacket wanted to listen to Rachmaninoff." He laughed softly to himself, as he got up to leave. He paused, face hardening. "I dream of revolution every hour of every day. I _know_ the people can rise to claim what is rightfully theirs."

Noodle watched him go, as 2D slowly turned to fix her with a stare for two minutes.

"Oh hey, Noodle," he said suddenly. "When did you wake up? I didn't see you there. Good morning!"

Late into the afternoon, even Murdoc had crawled out of his lair to grace the rest of the band with his presence. Two bottles of brandy had managed to follow him to the living room somehow, and he grumbled lowly at his bass guitar.

"Everyone will agree," he rasped at 2D's questioning look, "that the best parts of our greatest hits were my rocking basslines. I have to get this rhythm from mid-nineties Mariah Carey to new tens Victoria Beckham!"

2D scratched his head.

"You want to give the rhythm a boob job?"

"I want to give you a firm thrashing, that's what I want."

Noodle sighed in disgust, turning back to her guitar. She hadn't thought she'd miss it quite so much when she was separated with from the band. She hadn't thought it'd feel so weird, having the band release a record without her. Plastic Beach... but that was all over now. She gripped her instrument tighter. Before she could even think to open her mouth, Russel let out a frustrated sigh.

"You guys do remember that we need to get ready for our concert right? If you guys can't get along, the whole show's gonna fall apart."

"Fall apart?" Murdoc affected a scandalised face. "With me at the bass? 2D'd have to royally screw up for that. Thankfully, all he can screw are the cheap chicks at the pub."

"Hey, they're not cheap, they're r-real, they're real nice girls, they are. You're just jealous that no one wants to waste their nights with a-a salted pickle like you!"

"Murdoc," Russel glared. "Apologise to 'D."

"Wha— _he_ called me _salted pickle_. How am I going to recover from that?"

"2D, apologise to Murdoc," sighed Russel.

Somewhere in the background, Murdoc's bass sounded out the tune to Three Blind Mice.

"Alright, fuck this, I'm dry on inspiration."

He held out his hand for 2D to pass him a bottle of brandy that had managed to materialise out of thin air.

"Good thing we have the party tonight, eh?"

"What party?"

"Plug-in party," 2D smiled. "Let yourself go in a haze of booze and other, uh, other fun stuff, and then 'plug in' to your 'inner conscience', 's what they say."

"Plug in to other things too," Murdoc grinned, which everyone ignored. His soft cackle grew slowly louder. Russel had put his drumsticks down, and 2D paused over his keyboard. When Murdoc quieted, Noodle could taste the sickly silence. His grin looked more like a leer, and it seemed he could start purring at any moment.

"Why don't you join us tonight, Noodle?"

The Red Lion was as fancy as it had always been, bathed in garish neon lights that did a good job of illuminating the sleeping bodies by the front door. Inside was no better, permeated by a sticky scent, marinated in a dizzying fog that made Noodle's head feel like it was made of cotton. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Murdoc grinding on some blonde in front of her. 2D was dancing with a woman somewhere in the distance. He kept his eyes trained on her with an easy grin, but you'd be forgiven if you thought he didn't even know she had a head. Noodle tried to lose herself to the atmosphere, but all she could feel was some kind of exhaustion. Even Russel had managed to loosen himself up, letting someone trail their fingers up and down his chest at his table. He'd insisted on accompanying them to 'supervise' them... that plan seemed to have been lost to the night. The frenetic energy from when she'd first stepped into the haze had twisted into an intense and pervasive anxiety. Noodle was no stranger to drinking, but the combination of alcohol and drugs in the air was making her feel like someone might scoop her up with a pair of chopsticks and make a nice bowl of ramen. She shuddered. Her body felt like it would melt, or catch fire, or both. Someone's mouth was on hers, or maybe it was just the heat. Even through the lethargy, she couldn't stop moving. She almost didn't even notice the music diminuendo into a hot and sweaty silence.

Through the haze, she looked around for her friends. Someone tugged at her arm.

She found Murdoc draped on some woman's shoulder. Some chick pushed Noodle to the side. Russel leaned back on his chair, eyes shut and a wanton grin on his face. Two lovers jostled her forward. 2D held two ladies with lovely legs at his hips. Someone touched Noodle's face.

Everything screeched to a halt. Noodle watched in bewildered horror as the women by 2D's side took out a wire and plugged it into his body.

Someone pushed her and she stumbled backwards. The plug glinted in the light. A sharp pain in her rib, and then—

Noodle awoke to the sound of the radio's new favourite pop song and Cyborg's head humming along on her desk. The clock read 1100. She smashed the radio and silenced the room.

"I swear, Russel, I saw—"

"You were pretty out of it, Noodle girl, we all were."

"No, you don't understand, I really, I—you—the plugs," she paused to take a frantic breath. "How did I even get home?"

Russel tried to hide his concern with a friendly chuckle. "Murdoc got himself into trouble and we all had to carry him back to the car. You fell asleep in the back I think. You probably have a splitting headache by now."

Noodle rubbed her forehead. She didn't feel too good, that much was true. She opened her mouth to protest, but shut it just as fast. Her cigarette was already over, but she chewed it in thought. She knew what she'd seen—it'd been the clearest part of the night. The plug's pin had ghosted over 2D's pale skin, before it'd been gently pushed into his flesh, his body barely giving any resistance as it'd slotted itself in like it was _meant_ to be a part of him. He hadn't even reacted. It was the most natural thing in the world.

She shook her head. The whole thing had been anything but natural.

Nibbling at her sandwich (mango jam), Noodle surveyed her surroundings. Her plate had another sandwich, while Russel's was empty. He held his only sandwich as he watched her, worried. The table wasn't set for anyone else like it usually was—Russel apparently wasn't expecting 2D and Murdoc to be up for a while.

"What time did you get up?"

He put his sandwich down.

"Sometime 'round nine o'clock I think. I paced myself last night, so I was tired but alright." He seemed to be trying to give her a good-natured smile, but his expression looked very strange. "The other two're down for the count though. Prolly won't see much of them today. They need time to reboot—"

Noodle sucked a sharp breath in. Russel flinched.

"I meant, uh, they need time to rest, uh, y'know..."

Noodle grimaced into her plate as his words trailed off. She didn't want to touch her breakfast anymore. She'd been through hell and back—literally—and she knew to trust her senses when her surroundings were trying to throw her off. She thought back to those times. She thought back to the strange dream she'd had. She thought back to Cyborg Noodle, decapitated and upside down in her room. It wasn't entirely unfeasible that 2D could have been replaced by an android, not really. Murdoc could have done it in secret so he could have his way with the real 2D in private—or maybe Murdoc had been replaced too, nuts and bolts under his sickly green skin. Russel had carried her through the ocean to find the others at Plastic Beach... She turned to look at him, as he carried his now empty plate away. There was no way he hadn't seen what she'd seen. He might've been in on it. He might not even be human anymore.

She shook her head.

Ridiculous.

Noodle wasn't too surprised when 2D crawled up to her side. He looked positively miserable, hair a tousled mess and an expression of pure, unadulterated nausea on his face. He'd only managed to drag himself out of his room late in the evening, but it was clear that he was still recovering from last night. His grimace eased into a relieved smile as Noodle turned her lamp off, bathing the pair in the usual ambient sunset tones of her room.

"Russ told me you weren't..." He blinked, gathering his bearings. "He told me you weren't feeling okay. You, uh, you... You okay?"

Noodle regarded him with a steady gaze. The man was swaying in place and groaning under his breath—if anything, she should have been concerned about him. She had been, even, until it'd become clear that 2D was going to subject himself to this kind of alcohol and drug cocktail, consequences be damned. Then she became a little less concerned then. Callous, maybe, but that's what Hell did to you.

"I'm fine, thanks. I didn't drink much, so I'm okay now."

"Smart, that. I-I won't either next time."

She knew he'd forget he'd said that.

"I heard you were, uh, you were tripping balls last night... " 2D smiled absently. "Russ told me you saw some chick plug an aux cord into me, heh. I'd have liked to have seen that."

He sloppily ruffled her hair.

"I didn't say that at all," she groused. He ignored her.

"Russ was real worried about you. You know you can talk to us about anything right?"

"Right."

His expression might have been a fairly charming smile if it didn't look like he wanted to throw up. Noodle smiled. For better or worse, this was the 2D she knew. The 2D she'd remembered all through her journey to Plastic Beach. The 2D she called her brother. She giggled despite herself.

"Who were the girls with you last night anyway?"

He winced through a mischievous grin.

"Dunno, couldn't tell you if I tried. I think the redhead was called... Bree?"

"You weren't with any redheads, silly!"

"Shit, you're right, that's the chick from Desperate Housewives. Uh... Bianca? Brunhilde? Sorry, Noodle, I couldn't for the life of me tell you. Nice girls, though. Maybe you'd have gotten along? Nice girls get along, right?"

Noodle laughed.

"Yeah, nice girls do get along. Think they'd have been all over me like they were over you?"

2D winced.

"I hope not. I mean, not cause you'd have all been girls, but I still remember back when you were ten and you really liked boy bands... Sexy ladies fawning over my baby Noodle? What a, what a thought, hmm. Say, have you even kept up with any?"

"It would have been hard to in Hell."

"Oh."

The room stilled as the pair was bathed in an awkward silence. Noodle grimaced. They'd been laughing and getting along so well just seconds ago... Despite the fact that she'd suspected him of being an android only a little while ago.

"Oh 'D... you can introduce me to any boy bands I missed while I was away. You had a radio at Plastic Beach, right? Did you have any favourites?"

She leaned into his side and he leaned into hers. His shirt left a tiny sliver of skin exposed at his waist—and Noodle knew he was incredibly ticklish.

"I don't think I remember any in particular, uh—hey, stop that!"

She cackled.

"Not on your life!"

"Silly creature," he laughed. "See if I can't return the favour!"

He tried to push her over, but she managed to keep herself upright, giggling hysterically all the while. They were both a tangled mess of limbs at this point, and it didn't help that 2D's were so awfully long and bony. Suddenly she remembered the spot on his side where she'd thought she'd seen the wire plugged in. Smiling, she reached out to poke it, and—

"Enough!"

2D swatted her hand away before she had a chance to even see that stretch of skin. She looked up at him in bewilderment. Why all of a sudden...

"All this excitement's got me dizzy again... I think I need to take a-a breather, yeah?" He stood up. "I'm glad you're feeling okay, Noodle. I'll... I'll let Russ know you're fine now. See you!"

Noodle watched him leave, her mind still stuck on the skin on his waist she hadn't gotten to see. The harsh orange light in the room framed his silhouette in an odd way. It couldn't be... But it could, couldn't it? The image of Cyborg's smiling face at Plastic Beach flashed behind her eyes. Maybe she was just seeing what she wanted to see. However, if there was anything Noodle had learnt, it was that vigilance was of utmost importance. Things could fall apart at any moment—you never expected to end up in hell, but then, there you were. She couldn't afford to be negligent, not now. Not after she'd dragged herself out of hell and they were all finally back together again.

Noodle awoke to the sound of the radio's new favourite pop song and Cyborg's head trying to lick its own nose. She barely noticed her snap her tongue back into her mouth, certainly not enough to laugh at her like she usually would have. Noodle was a little bit too preoccupied with the concert this morning to care.

It was going to be their first gig now that everyone had reunited. It wasn't like Noodle couldn't remember what it was like to perform live—it was what she'd grown up around, after all—but it was different now. Things had changed. _They_ had changed. She traced the scar under her eye, a visual reminder of everything that had happened. Could they pretend that everything was back to normal? Sometimes she could barely recognise the men she'd called family before. They could be imposters, and she wouldn't even know. They could be robots like Cyborg, and she wouldn't...

No. Noodle shook her head. She'd resolved to pay attention to her band mates, not to accuse them of such things with no concrete evidence. She couldn't even remember falling asleep last night, so exhausted was she by her suspicions. There was enough going on without being overly paranoid.

Having gotten herself ready, Noodle steeled herself for the day ahead. They'd practice a little (at least she and Russel would; 2D and Murdoc usually fucked off by themselves doing who knows what), have a cheesy pep talk, maybe a shot or two, tune their instruments one last time... and that'd be it. They'd be on stage again. They'd be Gorillaz again. Noodle was a little more nervous than she'd have liked to admit. She didn't notice Cyborg mumbling under her breath about wanting her to die.

It certainly didn't cross her mind to question how her radio had reappeared in her room.

"Do I look cool?"

2D posed in front of Noodle, wearing a mostly unbuttoned shirt, a gaudy jacket, and the most ridiculous pair of high-waisted pants she'd ever seen. She'd have told him to get changed, but they were already due to be on stage in a few minutes.

"You look about as cool as a summer's day."

He smiled happily.

"Oh, that's very cool!"

"No, actually, it's just hot and sweaty."

2D only grinned wider.

"Do you think I look cool?" smiled Noodle, giggling. She gave a tiny twirl, showing off her cute pair of high-waisted shorts that she'd coupled with a tight shirt that showed off her curves without distracting from her face and twin-tailed hairstyle. All in all, a very well put together outfit, if she did say so herself.

2D frowned for half a second, before giving her a warm smile.

"I think you look great!"

" _I think you look great_ ," Murdoc mockingly squawked, causing both of them to jump. "This isn't some fashion show, don't forget. This is to prove to the world that nothing can keep Gorillaz down, and that we're still the premier music making outfit from here to Sunday!"

"And to raise funds for the new album were making," Russel chimed.

Murdoc scowled.

"Forget funds! All you need for good music is one chord and the truth!" He leered. "Right, guys?"

He turned to Noodle and 2D, who mumbled something that sounded like agreement. Noodle smiled to herself. It was almost like old times again. The familiar roar of the crowd lulled as their intro began to play. She tried to ignore the voice in her head telling her things weren't all right as they began to troop onto the stage.

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't missed this. Their audience screamed as Murdoc posed and 2D gave them his brightest smile. Someone in the crowd yelled their love for Murdoc, and if Noodle heard it, he _definitely_ heard it, grinning lasciviously at masses.

"How are all of you beautiful people today?"

The audience roared in response. Russel beat out a steady tempo that Noodle softly strummed along to. 2D greeted the crowd as the music slowly crescendoed.

"It's been a while hasn't it? We've missed this as much as you have!"

Murdoc bared his teeth.

"Are you ready!"

The crowd gave him a deafening cry as the music reached its peak. Murdoc opened his mouth to sing, but 2D beat him to it, wailing the lyrics to Punk into the microphone. That wasn't what they'd planned to start with, but Noodle could adapt to the songs energetic strums. It didn't matter so much anyway—she could already feel everyone having the time of their life. Performing live was always a little like playing with a friend, and she knew that it was the experience that everyone really cared about, not the pinpoint accuracy of their playing. She added a few little flourishes to her instrumentation, just for the fun of it. The audience went wild, of course, and she smiled almost as wide as Murdoc. It was easy to forget that they were playing a decade old song at their first live concert in years—it felt like she'd just played a hundred gigs yesterday.

Once the song ended, they segued back into the set they'd planned. The energy was no less frenetic, but Noodle felt a steady confidence through it all. The air around her was as hot as the sun, even as they made their way through Broken. Even as 2D moaned through Amarillo. Even as he warbled through El Mañana, and she swore she could see Murdoc trembling. She couldn't blame him—she was shaking a little too, but the din of the audience energised her. She might have been flying for part of the event. She couldn't tell; her feet never seemed to touch the ground.

It was over before she knew it, as 2D belted out cheesiest lines he could think of to uproarious applause. Noodle brushed her fingers over the strings, still buzzing from the energy of the night. She felt safe in the company of the crowd, her band-mates, the warm air, the moon. It was tempting to indulge in the chants for an encore, but she knew better. She grinned. It'd been a very long while since she'd felt this way last.

As they all turned to leave, saying their "thank you"s and "goodbyes", she noticed the wire connecting Murdoc's bass to the amp was lagging in a strange way, almost like it wasn't the bass it connected to, but _him._ Noodle stepped closer to get a better look, but she mustn't have been paying attention to where she was going, because—

Noodle awoke to the sound of the radio's new favourite pop song and Cyborg softly snoring at her desk. This wasn't right—how'd she get here? What had happened last night? She felt like throwing up. What was the radio doing here when she clearly remembered smashing it with her own hands?

She burst into the kitchen, startling Russel into dropping the pan he was holding with a loud clang.

"Noodle!" He squeaked. Clearing his throat, he lowered his voice back to its normal octave. "I see you've, uh, woken up. Are you feeling better after last night?"

She narrowed her eyes, a sight that made Russel visibly shiver.

"That's exactly what I wanted to ask about. What happened last night?"

"Nothing so bad, uh—"

"Tell me the truth!"

Murdoc glided into the room like a fog.

"What's all the commotion?"

"Noodle wants to know what happened last night!"

"Oh, it's not—"

"No!"

Even Murdoc looked a little startled by her voice. 2D had tiptoed into the room at some point, and stood quivering silently by the sidelines.

"Tell me what happened..." She lowered her head, her eyes burning. "Please."

"It's okay," 2D volunteered. "No one really minded. They'll forget about it soon enough, I'm sure."

Noodle gave him a bewildered stare.

"What are you talking about?"

"You don't remember?" asked Russel, having regained his composure. "You took a misstep and fell off the stage. Knocked yourself out for a minute, but you were up and about after that..."

Murdoc swore.

"I told you she might've had a concussion. We should have called an ambulance."

"She said she was alright," 2D mumbled.

"Do you really think, _dullard_ , that a person with a concussion would _tell_ you if they had a concussion?"

"But—"

"It's okay," sighed Noodle. The room quieted at the sound of her voice. "I think I can sorta vaguely remember what happened last night, now that you're talking about it." She paused. "I'm really sorry."

2D smiled warmly at her.

"That's okay, no need to apologise for anything." His eyes had a faraway look to them as he spoke. "I kicked and screamed like a wet cat when I woke up at Plastic Beach."

Murdoc twitched a tiny bit.

"Well, we can all put this behind us, I'm sure. I'm a little busy working on a rhythm for a new song, and Cortez isn't always ready to stay in my room. I'm going to head back now."

Noodle refrained from asking why exactly he needed his pet bird to write music. 2D leaned on a wall as Russel picked up his frying pan.

"I was just about to make an omelette for myself," he smiled, turning to face her. "Would you like one too? You must be hungry."

"Thank you," she smiled back. "Once again, I'm sorry for causing such a commotion."

He waved her apology away, grinning. He turned to the kitchen top, oiling his frying pan on the stove. Noodle turned to regard 2D. He met her eyes with a small smile, warm and familiar. It occurred to her that he was nothing like the nineteen year old kid she'd met all those years ago.

"By the way..." she paused, biting her lip. "Do you know what's up with my radio?"

He smiled wider.

"You noticed? Murdoc saw that yours was broken, and went out and bought a new one to replace it." He frowned. "I'm not sure why he insisted on doing it while you were asleep though. And he could have gotten a fancier one instead of buying the exact same model."

Russel shrugged.

"He's a strange man, Murdoc, and not always in the right ways," he sighed. "It's probably a just misguided attempt at making her feel comfortable. He wouldn't have to resort to such creepery if he didn't act like a fucking robot when it comes to emotions, y'know?"

Noodle stilled. She _did_ know. She remembered the wire connected to Murdoc last night. She knew Cyborg had functioned in a similar way (though her head seemed to be leeching energy from her bonsai tree now, apparently), and it wasn't outlandish to think that a robot would need to stay plugged in to keep up with the pace of a concert. She always lost consciousness when she got too close to seeing outright evidence, but she knew now. As much as Russel, 2D, and Murdoc cared for her, they weren't the people she'd left behind. She watched Russel frying their omelettes, 2D hum a tune to himself with an easy smile. They were robots.

And there was nothing to do but accept it.


End file.
